Last night I dreamed I was talking to my 11th grade chemistry teacher. It was a weird and also fairly boring conversation. But, regardless of how dull it was, it's put high school on my mind today. And then tonight I heard Teenage Rockstars for the first time and it made all my teenage brain memory neurons light up.
So, if you don't already, you should know that Teenage Rockstars from Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness' new album is the perfect anthem for the grown up Emo Kid.
There are reasons.
Like it's nostalgic, but not in a I'm 35 and haven't moved on kind of way, but a sure do appreciate the present and love the memories that got me here, kind of way.
There's that chorus. "We were teenage rockstars. We taught ourselves to play. And we played loud"
Then the Las. THE LAS!
When I scream sing those las in the shower my brain is right back to the emo scream/sing-alongs we called shows back in high school. Man. That was SO. FUN. Other teenage stuff was notsofun. But that was magical.*
I guess that was the thing about the music scene then. The singers in the bands were basically our age and they were all so far from professionally trained, but they said it all like they meant it, and it meant something to us. And it really was so loud. It was a weird time of music, you kind of connected with it, or you didn't, but if you did, you REALLY did.
And like, remember when Andrew McMahon refused to sing Konstantine (Konfusing!) even though everyone went to his shows HOPING tonight was the night he'd just stupid sing the song? Just so we could scream along for all 9 minutes and release all the insane angst of being a teenager?
I bet the death of emo is why kids have so much anxiety now. They never get to scream sing Konstantine and the Heroine version of Punk Rock Princess in the car driving home late from their friends houses. (Also because they don't learn to drive.) (Also because they don't go to their friends' houses their friends just live on a screen) (I digress.)
And then once upon a time, when my heart was a little broken and I just needed to MOVE ON there was Jack's Mannequin's La La Lie! "Guess what? I'm done! ...So this is the first verse, it's not very long but I'm ready to move on." And I was! And I did! Thank's Andrew McMahon for evolving into Jack's Mannequin just when I needed it!
Also hilariously perfect, the time at a Jack's Mannequin show in Salt Lake when Andrew yelled at the crowd? Then came back and apologized? Not sure what that was about. But good times. Definitely good times.
I got old. Got Married. Had babies. (The old part may have come after the get married, have babies part) and I just forgot about music. Who had brain space to have feelings and who had time to entertain dealing with those feelings through song? Not me! No thank you!
Funny thing about doing that is one day it might just break your brain. When my brain broke, guess what I found? Synesthesia. Right on, Mr. Andrew. He grew up right along with me. Here was a song all about all the good things of life and life mellowing out that I needed to hear. RIGHT. THEN. So I played it on repeat for 4 years. Have you been in my car? Well then, you've heard it too. It sits atop my best ever playlist "Becki Likes" [for songs that make me say, I like this! every time I hear them.]
Not only did I just like it, but, like Something Corporate once did for me, it told me there were songs still to like in the world and it made me love other music again too. A gift to my musically starved self! So many good songs I would have missed.
Of course, there was also Cecilia and the Satellite to make us all cry over how being a parent is pretty freaking sweet. But then, remember when we moved, like 3 months ago? Remember that? When we were deciding to move, just then Ohio was released. It speaks to me. If you ever find me wandering around the house with my hair piled on my head with mascara all over my face muttering "Better on the west coast. Better on the west coast" as my personal mantra that someday all the agony of moving (I AM NOT DRAMATIC ABOUT THIS AT ALL...except I am a lot) WILL ALL PAY OFF, just know I'm going to eventually be okay.
And then here we are. Teenage Rockstars. It was a fine time, the time of teenage rockstars. I've appreciated growing up with them. More so than any of the others, Andrew McMahon has a special place in my heart (#fangirl #IamNotaStalker). His music seems to have evolved with me, and I love how it reflects the growth and change of actually growing up. I mean, I'm going to die still loving those few perfect Bright Eyes songs, but there was never any growth going to happen there.
Grown up life is a good thing. I don't miss being a teenager, but in a sea of awkward, confusing memories, the music was a bright spot for me. I wouldn't be sad to be able to go back to ooooone more show, screaming with all my favorite friends and strangers, all of us sweaty from jumping up and down for hours (with one hand raised...I don't even know what that was and I still want to do it all the time) and all just so. so. emotional.** And then running like crazy people to catch the last train back home, because one of the great mysteries of my life is WHY WERE WE ALWAYS RUNNING LATE TO THE TRAIN??
**** I would probably rethink this if it also meant the return of the Accidental Mullet
1 comment:
YES.
Post a Comment