Website that is best ever

I am incredibly happy about finding this website. I love how it looks like a totally legitimate medical website. I love how none of the "doctors" on the site speak clear English. I love how they use more exclamation marks than a 12 year old on myspace.

This is my favorite question and answer from the site:

Question : I'm a 22 yr old female who is 39 weeks pregnant. i live in tucson, az. i was just wondering how i could go into labor asap becasue i really want my baby girl here before christmas. im already 80% effaced and 2 1/2 cm dialated. any suggestions?

Answer : You are in Stage 1 of labour. It lasts till the full dilatation. The timing from stage 1 to completion of labor depends on other factors. If you are first time pregnant you will take more time anything between 12 hours to 24 hours. If you had pregnancy earlier it will take much lesser time. The labor shall be completed before Christmas day. You do not worry about it. But we suggest you rush to hospital.

You got that? RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL! Using that logic I would have been rushing to the hospital weeks ago. Maybe where this site is (and I'm going to go ahead and make a totally out there guess and say India.) you have to walk 45 miles to the hospital so they recommend getting an early start.

I also enjoyed this little bit of magic:

Are you pregnant ?

Congratulations!!!! Isn't that you feel the almighty is taking a part of you and yet make you more complete and so you should. Put all your questions to us and as answer them, you remain at ease in a relaxing chair.

You can find the answers to common problems that you will most probably encounter or any other worries that may arise in your mind on our website. If you need any further information do not hesitate to contact us or chat with our doctors

with this site on my side, I shall never lack for medical knowledge again!

gratitude

In case you hadn't already realized how much I love these videos:



I like that it's a reminder that no matter the economy and no matter the hard times we go through there is always something to be thankful for.

Me? I'm thankful my baby has stayed in this long and let me get some projects, etc out of the way. She's a nice baby.

mundane life details: a tale of many stressors

Adam is on his way home from his last out of state interviews! I'm so excited to be able to sit back, relax and not worry about having this baby while he's 2000 miles away.

It's been incredibly boring while he's been doing these. Last weekend since he was gone Saturday morning through Monday evening I just about lost my mind. I sat around in such a state of stress that I was pretty sure I would put myself into labor and the more I'd get stressed the more the contractions would come and the more I'd try to relax the more it would stress me out.

So. Much. Fun!

Luckily I did at some point quit freaking out. But it was awfully hard since the doctor had told me to stay down all weekend (and drink 6 liters of water a day to keep baby in. Do you realize what 6 liters of water does to a pregnant bladder?) so I had plenty of time to lay and worry and freak out about what it would be like to push out a baby with no husband there.

And imagine how excited I was to repeat that experience this week when Adam left yesterday morning for Chicago! Luckily it hasn't been as bad since I had classes and wasn't just laying around thinking about nothing else the entire time and I think I had basically come to terms with delivering a baby husbandless over the previous weekend so I wasn't quite such an emotional wreck. 

Anywho. Yesterday morning we got up and we had a leisurely morning getting him off to the airport. In a completely non-hurried, non stressed out manner I sent him out the door and he was on his way with time to spare.

Then I did some things around the house, walking through our little hallway probably a dozen or so times before going in and going back to sleep (I'm a professional mid-morning napper). About an hour after leaving I get a frantic call from my dear old hat (That's Adam for anyone unaware) and he has . . . forgotten his luggage (suit included). Completely.

How neither of us realized this before he arrived at the airport is just shocking. He wasn't even leaving in a rush, how is that even possible? How on earth did I not notice when he left? How did I not notice it sitting in my way in the hallway? How did I not notice it sitting directly in my line of sight when I was in bed?

There are just too many unanswered questions.

Well, I tried to run it to him at the airport, but we did some quick math before I got to the freeway and realized it would be impossible.

Too much work had gone into him getting this interview for him to show up without a suit and blow the whole thing. So, the Adamonator arrived in Chicago about 2:30 and he had three and a half hours to get checked into his hotel, find and purchase a reasonably priced suit, tie and shirt that he'd still want to wear post interview, get the suit altered and get to a the restaurant for dinner.

Because he has skillz Adam was able to do all of this in his allotted time, arriving only minutes late for the pre-interview dinner (at Wildfire nonetheless so I was quite jealous - will someone PLEASE figure out a recipe for their chop salad?). Of course, he had to run through the streets of Chicago to get there, but what's a trip to Chicago if you don't have to run wildly through the streets at some point? (see: every single visit I took to the city in high school and barely made the train home.)

And then today he interviewed and got back to the airport and got on a flight that will get him home 4+ hours earlier than his original flight. Those are 4+ hours that I won't have to be paranoid about driving my laboring self to a hospital. Blessed day.

Also, I'm just incredibly relieved this interview is over. It's one huge sigh of relief after a year long circus of getting to this point.

a birth of a different sort.

Tomorrow is my (and Sarah's) 98th birthday(s). It sure is amazing how the time flies, it seems like just yesterday we were turning 94 and learning how to knit. I was thinking about reminding Adam of my very important birthday, but I think I'd rather just put him in the doghouse for forgetting.
How should I go about placing Adam in the doghouse? Maybe I'll make a cake and eat the whole thing in front of him. Or I'll glare at him periodically thoughout the day with no explanation. Orrrr, perhaps I'll hide in closets throughout the entire day and jump out and scare him as he passes by. I think constant startling would be a very adequate punishment for this kind of nonsense.

Better yet, maybe I'll snuggle up to him all sweet like and then lick his face. It's his least favorite thing in the world. I think it's a good idea. And face licking is only appropriate for a person in a dog house. Yes. I think that'll do.

Can you believe, in just 2 years I'll be 100 years old? Preeeetty amazing if I do say so myself.


Also, I'm quite sad that Sarah is in Provo and we won't even be able to celebrate our birthday together. Such a shame. I think the MTC should let her out for an important event like this.

oh flu.

Good news:

Adam is home and I didn't have the baby while he was gone! Just one more out of state interview to go . . .

Bad news:

Adam brought the flu home with him. Please don't let me catch it. I really don't want to try to produce a human being while I have the flu. You know?

Well, anyway, Adam has quarantined himself away in our bedroom with the heat on and the space heater blowing at his face. It's about 700 degrees in there. I'm staying away.

the same.

Are you tired of talking about birth yet? Oh, okay, well let's talk about something else then.

LOLZ! JK! Keep dreaming.

Here is the thing. I'm reading some more birth submissions tonight and I have to admit, I am in love with birth. I don't know if it's just because I've never done it or because of my impending baby production, but I love to read/hear about it. So much. (I'm pretty sure it's not the latter reason since I became obsessed quite some time before this little frog was even a zygote.)

So far these are the reasons I can come up with to explain my interest in such a subject:

1-It's so universal. Women everywhere give birth. It's the only way babies happen. I mean, there are c-sections (speaking of which, I don't have many c-section stories in my collection . . . soooo, any volunteers?) but that's no less birth, you know? Birth really is the ONLY way babies come into the world and every mother has a story and I just love that connection. I'll ramble more about this if you ask me.

2-It's usually slightly gory. As a product of the Discovery Health Channel era, I do not fear a little bit of gore in a story. And birth provides just the right amount. I mean, things like afterbirth, mucus plugs, etc. It's all just a little weird and totally awesome. And usually the more details and gore the more fascinating the story becomes. But even the stories without any gore are really interesting (because birth is really just that awesome).

3-There are so many strong opinions and beliefs. Everyone has their different idea of what birth is and how the whole thing should go down. And I love hearing these opinions and how they work for individuals.

4-Every story is different, personalized and amazing. Reading/hearing stories it's like every woman sees birth totally different and women with multiple birth stories even view each different birth in a different way. Some stories are funny, some are spiritual, some are horrific, some are scary, some are sad, but in the end every single one leaves me respecting the woman in a new way. I can't help but be in awe of every single birth story I've heard (and trust me, since I've been devouring them for the last year+ there've been a lot of them). Women are pretty dang amazing when you see what they put themselves through to make a human.

5- Every birth story is interesting. Some women have been somewhat reluctant to tell me their story, telling me that theirs isn't very exciting ("especially when compared to so&so's" - to which I declare, you're wrong and they probably think yours is more interesting, things just become boring to us when they belong to us). This is so ridiculous. Not even a single one has been boring or anything close to it. It can't be boring, becuase EVERY birth is interesting.

6-The thing that is most interesting to me in my collected narratives is the lack of attention paid to pain. Yes, of course most women talk about it and talk about how hard it is, but that always ends up taking the back seat in the story. Which isn't really what I was expecting. The other day my teacher was asking me how my collecting was going and she asked me if all the stories were scaring me and I very honestly told her that it hasn't scared me at all. If anything they've made me excited, because now I feel buoyed up by the stories of all these women who are pretty dang remarkable. It even makes me sad that there isn't more birth story sharing in every day life. It's such a shame that women don't get to really tell others about the amazing thing they did.

I just wish everyone could get to hear all of these. I wish I could hear everyone's story. I just . . . love birth. It's really nearly insane how excited just thinking about collecting more stories makes me.

(which, again, if you are willing to share your story [which is undoubtably incredibly interesting, even if you think it's not] PLEASE let me know. I'd loooove to have it. Obviously.)

In fact. Here. Let's just open it up.

If you are willing to share, just do a write up of whatever length you want or record yourself (just audio is fine) and email the file to beckilou@gmail.com. I'll be collecting through the next week, so if you want to do it, please, feel free and know that I'I'll love your story just about more than anything else in the world.

(oh, and if your file is too big to be emailed just email me and let me know and I have an alternate solution for you.)

I wonder if I'll be less fascinated after I do it?

should you be wondering:

If I were pregnant with 10 babies and had a ticker on my blog it would look like this.

nice.